Youth sports are supposed to be about fun, athleticism, and
building a child’s confidence, right? While that’s likely what most parents of
young athletes would tell you they think, their actions show a different
truth.
Some of today’s sports parents, including “hockey moms” and
“hockey dads,” are ruining the sport for their young athletes. Many are
concerned with their child’s sports team being at the top, rather than with the
attributes that are inherent in a team. You also have parents who are too overly
involved and who push and bully their kids in the hopes of making them great
players, thus eliminating the fun out of playing. These types of behaviors can
lead to a lot of miserable little hockey players who aren’t having a bit of fun
on the ice.
Many blame this recent “bad behavior” on professional
athletes who have racked up serious professional victories. The theory is that
parents see these uber successful talents and think, “Hey, my kid could do
that,” and then pressure the child to emulate them. Not only does this drive to “be like”professionals
cost countless amounts of money- money that could be spent investing in
children’s educational futures- but it also discourages the enjoyment of the
game and doesn’t allow a child to progress at a natural pace.
A recent study from the Open Access Journal of Sports Medicine
reports that about 80% of children who join sports teams in their youth
will have quit the sport by the age of 15. And, the main reason cited for this
large percentage of quitters is the disconnect between a child’s desire to have
fun and play a sport and an adult’s desire to win and be on the same level as
the pros.
This desire to “be the best” puts a lot of stress and
pressure on young athletes. Furthermore, it often leads to excessive practicing
and training, which, when forced upon a child, can make him or her loathe the
very sport that was once loved. So many parents force their children into
summer sports camps after a whole season of playing, hire private coaches to
keep them practicing long after practice is over, and basically just run their
kids ragged, pushing them toward a dream that really belongs to the parent, not
the child.
You may argue that pushing to be the best isn’t a bad thing.
After all, you might say, it does pay off in the long run, doesn’t it? The
answer to that question really all depends on your definition of “paying off.”
If your goal is a scholarship, be aware that only around 1% of high school
athletes are given a Division 1 scholarship. And, to make matters worse, the
average scholarship is usually for far, far less money than the parent has
invested in the sport to begin with.
If you’re pushing for a professional career, understand that
even pro athletes take breaks. Also understand that by forcing your child to
work non-stop, you could destroy his or her passion for the game, causing your
child to get burnt out early on or to eventually decide to say “no” to that
professional career in the event that it’s offered.
You don’t have to take your child out of sports completely,
nor should you. You just need to listen to your child and his or her wants and
desires. If a child doesn’t feel like practicing for a day or two or wants to
try another sport, let him! If hockey at a serious level is what is meant for
your child, he or she will find it. Pushing and forcing doesn’t do any good.
Remember, as hard as it can be to “let go,” your child is his or her own
person, not just an extension of your wishes and dreams.
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