No one likes to lose. It’s just plain not fun.
Unfortunately, however, losses in hockey are inevitable. And, also
unfortunately, when losses do happen in youth hockey, parents often start in
with blaming and shaming. They might blame the referee for making bad or unfair
calls, or they might blame the coach, or, worst of all, one or more of the
young players themselves.
When parents engage in this “blaming behavior” often enough,
it can filter down to the kids. And, before you know it, little players are
blaming others for their losses and even for their own mistakes. You see, at
its root, that’s the real problem with blame. It often keeps the blamer from
accepting responsibility for things he’s done or failings on his part. When
players and parents blame others for their losses, they don’t allow themselves
to take an honest look at their own shortcomings or give themselves a chance to
learn and grow from their mistakes.
Simply avoid blaming others is the solution. While
adults should definitely cease from blaming others, both on and off the ice,
and especially in front of their children, it’s important to teach kids the
reverse behavior- how to learn from their failings. After every game, ask them
what they did well and what they can improve on. Also, as hard as it may be,
parents need to emphasize that hockey isn’t really about winning but about a
love of the game.
It’s not just parents who need to teach these attitudes and
behaviors either. Coaches really need to make them a priority as well. If all
of the adults in a child’s life are emphasizing these positive things, the
child can’t help but learn the right way to behave.
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