Parents, coaches, and other people involved in a young
athlete’s life will often pressure that athlete to do his best. They think
that, by doing so, they’re showing support and helping the athlete to perform
to the best of his or her ability. In truth, though, what they’re actually
doing is causing the young player undue stress and worry, which can often lead
to burnout.
Take, for example, a young player I know named Greg. Greg
was an incredibly skilled hockey player. His parents, his coaches, and everyone
who knew him congratulated him on his skills and asked him about his next game
and how practices were going. Hockey seemed to be the focus of young Greg’s
life.
When Greg suffered a season-ending injury, everyone assumed
he would be devastated. Imagine their shock, however, when he expressed how
very relieved he was. Greg was thrilled he wouldn’t have to deal with the
pressure and worry that went along with playing the sport. And, when I last
checked in with Greg, he hadn’t gone back to playing, even though his injury
had long since healed.
Greg is a prime example of what can happen when we put too
much pressure on young athletes. This pressure, which is often well-meaning,
can come from a variety of sources. One of the most common, however, is the
athlete’s parents. Parents who take losses personally, who get upset over
mistakes, and who force their children to practice non-stop are not doing their
kids any favors.
These parents typically aren’t TRYING to be mean. In fact, more
often than not, they’re trying to encourage their kids and show them that they
support what they do. However, there’s a way to do that without pressuring
young players.
To begin with, let them be as involved in the sport as they
want to be. Never force them into playing if they don’t want to, and don’t
force them to do extra practices or camps either. If they don’t take part in
extra training and perform poorly as a result, that’s their consequence to
experience and to learn from. You have to let them make and then learn and grow
from their own mistakes, period.
Parents also need to keep in mind that their main job is to
build-up their kids. When their child plays well, the first thing they should
say is “Congratulations.” When a child doesn’t perform well or the game doesn’t
go as planned, the parent’s job is to point out all the things the child did
well and to offer encouragement for next time. Critiquing is the coach’s job,
not the parent’s!
And, though this might be the hardest pill to swallow, when
kids say they don’t want to play next season or they want to try another sport,
the parents need to let them. Is this hard, yes? But, at the end of the day, it
will allow the child to make his own decisions, and ultimately, if the sport is
right for him, he’ll return to it. Either way, he’ll live a life that’s fun,
the way a kid’s life is supposed to be, not one that’s full of pressure and
stress.
No comments:
Post a Comment