Is Your Young Athlete a Perfectionist?

Perfectionism is a rampant problem among today’s youth, especially young athletes. And, while having perfect standards may seem like a good thing, it’s actually detrimental to a child’s wellbeing.   

Children who are perfectionists put far too much pressure on themselves, in sports and in everything. This can ultimately cause them to have a breakdown. Even if it doesn’t, it makes their lives stressful and difficult.

So, how can you know if your child is a perfectionist? To start with, you can look for these warning signs:

l  Your child gets irrationally angry when he makes a mistake

l  Your child has anxiety over making mistakes

l  Your child doesn’t like to try new things since he won’t be able to do them perfectly

l  Your child procrastinates

l  Your child is fearful of embarrassment

l  Your child gets frustrated easily and tends to give up quickly

Dealing with Your Perfectionist Child

If you determine that your child is a perfectionist, sit down and have a serious conversation with him. If the child is old enough to understand, you can clearly and honestly explain that your child is a perfectionist and that he is holding himself to unrealistic standards. Together, talk about ways to address this problem, such as having your child write “reminders” to himself that he doesn’t have to be perfect.

Consider Counseling

A lot of people are fearful of putting their children in counseling, often due to stigma surrounding counseling.

However, counseling can do a world of good for your child. Professionals know how to equip your child with tools to deal with and overcome his perfectionism and the high pressure that comes with it.

Regardless of how you choose to address your child’s perfectionism, make sure you do address it. Also, do your part by encouraging your child daily and making it clear that your love for him is unconditional and not based on performance.

What Should Young Athletes be Eating?

These days, most children, including athletes, eat highly processed diets. They grab granola bars or Pop-Tarts for breakfast and then snack on chips and crackers throughout the day.

Fortunately, when athletes eat like this, they don’t tend to gain weight thanks to their young metabolisms and their activity levels. However, the lack of weight gain doesn’t mean that these children are as healthy as they should be or that they’re getting the nutrition they need.  

Young athletes put a lot of strain and demands on their young bodies. Thus, it makes sense that they need to be eating a healthy diet that provides them with plenty of energy and the things their bodies need to repair themselves and stay strong.

This isn’t to say that they can’t have a treat here and there- they are still kids after all- but their diets should be mostly healthy.

What Does a Healthy Diet Look Like?

The unfortunate thing is that many parents are uninformed about what they should be feeding their kids.

If you have a young athlete in your life, focus on lean proteins, like fish and chicken. These foods provide the energy athletes need. Plus, they help kids feel fuller longer, which helps them to avoid overeating on junky foods later,

Carbohydrates are also a good source of energy for kids. Avoid overly processed carbohydrates, like sugary white bread or french fries. Instead, aim for whole grain pasta brown rice, and other healthy “carbs,” eaten in moderation.

Kids should also take in plenty of fruits and vegetables, and it’s not a bad idea to give them a daily multi-vitamin either. Choose one specifically designed for kids.

Finally, avoid processed foods, like soda and snack foods, whenever possible. Natural is always better.

If you can feed your child a diet like this, you can provide your child with good nutrition and, even more importantly, good nutrition habits for life. This can help him or her both in sports and in life in general. Plus, don’t be surprised if the whole family benefits for your young athlete’s healthier way of eating.

Young Skilled Athletes Often Face Undue Pressure

When it comes to hockey, most young players dream of being the stars of their team- the best of the best. The truth is, though, that being the “best of the best” often comes with a lot of unexpected pressures and struggles.

Sometimes, for example, if a child is particularly good at hockey, especially one particular aspect of it, such as playing goalie, his teammates and even his coach may come to rely on him too much. They might cheer him on and build him up when he wins...and then tear him down and snub him when he makes a mistake. That’s a lot of pressure for a young child- or anyone really- to deal with and process!

On the one hand, any child is going to enjoy being the “star” of the team and the attention and praise that it earns him. On the other hand, however, the pressure a “star” child feels, whether it’s real or imagined, is enough to cause him anxiety and stress that a child of his age shouldn’t be dealing with!

If you are lucky enough to have a very successful young athlete in your life, it’s important to check in with him on a regular basis about what pressures he may be dealing with. Ask gentle questions like, “What things do you worry about?” and “Who or what makes you worry about these things?”

You might get some answers that you don’t like. You might find out that a coach is pressuring your child...or even that you yourself are unintentionally doing so. If someone outside of the child is causing a lot of the pressure and stress, it’s important to talk to that person, and if you are that person, to change your behavior.

If the other players are the ones doing the pressuring, having a talk with your child’s coach, so that he can deal with the issue among the players is smart.

If it’s the child who is placing unrealistic expectations and pressures on himself, it’s your job to explain to your child that he can never be perfect or do everything perfectly and that that’s okay. Then, reinforce what you’re saying by shrugging off losses or small mistakes and emphasizing fun, not winning. Eventually, your child will let up on himself a little bit.

“Letting up” doesn’t have to mean being less of a player, but it does mean worrying less and experiencing the fun and love of the game that hockey, especially at this age, is all about.

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• Report: Atlanta Falcons offense fared well in 2014 when Matt Ryan was under pressure (thefalcoholic.com)