What Tom Brady thinks about Youth Sports

As the parent of a young hockey player, someone who played youth sports himself, and has coached youth hockey, you can certainly say that I have an interest in the world of youth sports, and it appears I’m not the only one!

No, recently, Tom Brady himself gave an interview for a radio station in Boston in which he talked about youth sports

He talked about how, when he was a child, sports were “localized,” meaning kids didn’t travel way out of their way to play in serious, high-pressure games. He went on to say that he was also encouraged to try his hand at different types of sports, including everything from baseball to basketball to soccer and beyond. He also touched on how most of this playing happened at home, in his street and yard, and was informal and just plain fun in nature.

Sadly, though, it seems that the kind of fun, frivolous play that Brady enjoyed as a child is a real rarity these days. Today’s kids are often forced to specialize in just one sport, rather than being allowed to try out different things. They also, more often than not, have to commit themselves to demanding travel teams and playing in high-pressure games. They’re taught to worry about scholarship opportunities and the possibility of “going pro” before they’ve even really gotten the hang of the sport they play.

Do you see a problem with all of this? If you don’t, then…well…you should. Children should be allowed to JUST play and enjoy like they were back in the day. Obviously, it worked out just fine for Brady and for many other professionals. They should be allowed to enjoy any sport they like just for the sheer fun of it. After all, they’ve got the rest of their lives to get serious about a particular sport and to actually worry about what they’re going to do with the rest of their lives.


Do everything you can to make sports FUN for your child. If he or she is meant to “go pro,” the rest will follow without anyone forcing it. In fact, not pushing your kid too hard lessens the chances of burnout and actually increases the chances of a successful, long-lasting experience with sports, so stop the pressure and start the fun.

Playing Time: A Touchy Topic

As a youth hockey coach, I frequently deal with parents who are unhappy with me for one thing or another. That’s one of my least favorite jobs, but it just goes with the territory. One of the complaints I hear from parents a lot is that they think their little one isn’t getting enough time on the ice. Often, they’ll accuse me of “playing favorites” or overlooking their child’s hard work and skill.  

Even though it’s my job, as a coach, to remain calm and address their concerns, I, of course, take some offense at these types of comments. Not only do I wish that parents could trust me to do my job correctly, but I want them to understand that I base my decisions on a variety of factors, some of which they couldn’t accurately judge for the simple fact that they don’t see everything I see. When I pick who to play, when, and for how long, it’s usually based on a combination of these reasons:

l  Having a positive attitude

l  Showing good teamwork and cooperation

l  Overall improvement or improvement with a certain skill

l  The need to get some real world practice of a particular skill

l  Overall skill

I’d like to think that most coaches are basing their playing decisions off of these reasons as well, but sadly, I know that’s not always the case.

There are some coaches out there, coaches who give the rest of us a bad name, who do play favorites. Maybe they are related to a child they’re coaching and thus show that favoritism. Or, maybe they just lack the training and experience to fairly judge who should play and when.

Then, of course, you have coaches who care about winning above all else. They want the win, so they put in players who are likely to win, regardless of how hard those players have worked or what their attitudes are like. Obviously, this isn’t fair, but some coaches are either winning-focused or are just trying to keep everyone happy by winning as often as possible.

No matter the reasons behind this behavior, it’s wrong, and it sends the wrong message to the players. When the coach is showing blatant favoritism, it teaches them that who you know is more important than what you know. When the coach is just putting in the best players, it offers no reward for hard work, improvement, and determination, which, in the long run, are just as important, if not more important, than skill.

Obviously, you don’t want your child learning these “lousy lessons,” so, if you see a coach acting unfairly, there are a few things you can do. To begin with, assess yourself. Make sure you’re not unfairly judging the coach just because you’re angry that your child isn’t playing as often as you’d like.

If you do think that you’re being accurate in your assessment of the coach, encourage your player to talk with his coach about what he can do to better himself and play more often. A good coach will give real, honest advice; a truly bad one will just brush your player off. If this happens, your only recourse is to talk to the coach yourself, but attempt to do so calmly. Ask the coach about why he’s making the decisions he’s making. Don’t assume, threaten, or berate in any way.

If you do all these things in the right way, the coach might change, and, if he doesn’t, then you’ll need to reassess whether that particular team is right for your child. At the end of the day, the most important thing is to handle yourself with dignity and to make the best decisions for your child so that he can learn the RIGHT life lessons.

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Coaching Advice from Phil Jackson

As a coach, Phil Jackson is a name you should definitely know. Just in case you don’t, he’s the national spokesperson for the Positive Coaching Alliance, a title he earned due to being one of the world’s greatest basketball coaches. Jackson coached a whopping 11 championship NBA teams, including the Chicago Bulls and the Los Angeles Lakers. And, though his expertise may be in basketball, his coaching knowledge transcends to any sport, including youth hockey.

Jackson, who is now a New York Knicks executive, is active with the Positive Coaching Alliance, The Double-Goal Coach by Jim Thompson.

not just as a spokesperson but as someone who actively raises funds for the organization and who makes regular event and video appearances. He even authored the forward to the Positive Coaching Alliance founder’s book-

Recently, in a promotional event for the organization, Jackson shared his thoughts on game referees, and the advice he gives is very useful for youth hockey coaches. He cautions coaches to remember, at all times, that referees deserve respect, even when they make calls coaches and parents may not agree with. After all, they are professionals, doing the best they can to do their jobs well, and that sometimes means making tough calls.

He does admit that not all referees are necessarily as professional as they should be. Sometimes, for example, a particular coach can fall into bad favor with a ref, which can potentially affect calls. If coaches honestly think they are being treated unfairly on purpose, they can speak to the authorities in charge about the matter. However, they should never be disrespectful or rude to referees under any circumstances.

This advice is very important for youth hockey coaches, who serve as role models to their young players. Remember, as a coach or even just a parent, it is your job to handle yourself with dignity no matter what happens. The young people in your life look up to you, and no matter what, it is your job to serve as a positive role model. 

The Impacting Power of Coaches

A coach is a lot of things. He should be a figurehead for the team, a leader, a friend, and a mentor. Unfortunately, some coaches really don’t think about all of that. Instead, they are only focused on winning. In reality, though, that’s selling the job short. Coaches should focus not just on building good, strong players but on building good, strong people in general and on teaching life lessons, such as responsibility and teamwork.

Coaches who go the extra mile for players and who seek to help better them all around will see

rewards for their efforts. Not only will they have the joy of watching their players learn and grow, but they should also see improvements on the ice. Athletes who feel their coaches care for them as people, and not just as athletes, will really go the extra mile for themselves and their coaches. They will try harder and put in more effort every time they hit the ice, making them more likely to be victorious.

There are lots of ways in which you can be a good, positive coach, but one of the most important is instituting an “open door” policy. Let your players know that you are always available to talk about any issue, sports related or not. Tell them they can come to you whenever they need a friendly, supportive ear.

Make sure you do more than just “talk,” however. Keep those promises by always being there for your players. If they’re having a problem or a concern, give them guidance and support. If the issue they come to talk to you about is something you don’t know how to handle, get help from parents, teachers, counselors, or other professionals. It doesn’t matter how you do it, as long as your player gets the needed help and support in the end. Your job, as a coach, is about so much more then barking orders and running drills. It’s about being that positive difference in a young person’s life.

Marc Trestman Speaks on Coaching

Coaching is an important job. It is one that demands absolute dedication to one’s players and a willingness and desire to help those players to succeed. No matter what sport a person coaches, the end goal is the same: to help mold young players into the best athletes they can be and to give them all the tools they need to succeed, both in the sport and in life itself. That’s why the recent words of Marc Trestman, given in an interview to the PCA National Advisory, ring true for coaches of all sports, including those who coach youth hockey.   

Trestman, who is the author of Perseverance: Life Lessons on Leadership and Teamwork and who has almost three decades of coaching experience under his belt, spoke to the honor and difficulty of being a coach in the interview. He asserted that coaches have a hard job but one of the most important ones there is. He also said that, as such, all coaches, regardless of level or sport, should really devote time and effort to considering what they are doing as coaches and why they’re doing it. Obviously, the answer should be to better and enable their players, and if that’s not the purpose and drive behind it, then they need to get that in check.

Of course, like all coaches, Trestman wants his players to win, but he stresses, in this profound interview, that winning doesn’t happen because of coaching. He also says that, furthermore, producing a winning team shouldn’t be the goal of coaching. He believes that, instead, coaching should be about instilling the right behaviors, goals, and attitudes in players, and that when a coach does those things, it will naturally lead to winning. He wants his players not just to be good athletes, but to be good people, and that- creating good people- is really what is at the heart of coaching.