What are You Really Paying for when You Pay for Hockey

It’s no secret that youth hockey is a very expensive sport. Any hockey parent can tell you that. And, while you may have to pay for coaching, equipment, and uniforms, that’s not really what you’re

paying for when you fork over money. Instead, what you’re actually paying for is something much more valuable.

You’re Paying for Perseverance

When you pay for hockey, you’re paying to teach your child perseverance. Every hockey mom or dad has seen their child look tired and defeated after trying to learn a new move or losing a game. But, then, the most amazing thing happens. The child gets out there, tries again, and eventually accomplishes a goal that once seemed impossible. The child learns perseverance thanks to your support and your wallet. Who could put a price on that?

You’re Paying for Teamwork

Something else kids learn, thanks to your hockey dollars, is the power of teamwork. Your child is learning to work with others out on that sheet of ice. He’s forming friendships that have the potential to be lifelong and learning about people and how they work. Your child is becoming a better person, one who can work with a diverse range of people, and it’s all because of you.

You’re Paying for Lifelong Skills

You pay for your child to learn from a coach. And, if the coach is good, your child will learn not just about the sport of hockey but also about life. He’ll learn to move on from losses, to work hard, to find joy in the little things, and to be a responsible, hardworking person. All of these things are skills that will carry your child throughout life.

So, yes, hockey is expensive. But, when you think about all that your child gains from it, isn’t it worth the cost and then some?

What Do Hockey Parents Sacrifice?

Whether you’re a new “hockey parent” or just considering becoming one, you should know that it’s not all fun and cheering at games. Being a hockey parent is hard work and requires a great deal of sacrifice from both you and your child. This is especially true if your child is particularly gifted at hockey and wants to go “all the way.” While you shouldn’t be discouraged from allowing your child to participate in the sport, you should be aware of and prepared for the sacrifices that will be required of you.   

Money

First of all, having a child who is active in hockey does require some level of financial investment. In fact, many parents are shocked at how much the sport can end up costing. But, all those fees, like registration fees, game fees, and equipment, can really add up. What’s more is that you end up paying for most of those things at least once a year.

You don’t necessarily have to be rich for your child to play hockey, but you do need to save and be prepared for the financial realities that go along with the sport.

Time

It’s not just money you have to invest. You must also prepare to invest your time…and lots of it. You’ll have to drive your child to practices each week. You may also need to take your budding hockey star to private lessons on the side. Then, there are special camps and clinics and out of town games. You can expect to spend several hours a week, if not more, committed to your child’s involvement in hockey.

As you can see, hockey demands a lot of young players and their parents. The key is to decide if it’s truly worth it to you and your child. If your child really loves the sport, however, and is gifted at it, no sacrifice should be too great.

What to do if You Feel Your Child Isn't Getting Enough Playing Time

As a hockey parent, you’ve probably been through periods of time where you felt your child wasn’t getting enough ice time. If that’s happening to you right now, you may be wondering what to do about it. That really all depends on a lot of things, but hopefully, the following advice will help steer you in the right direction. 

 

Read the Team Policy

First things first, read the team policy that the coach or the hockey organization handed out at the beginning of the season.

The policy usually details how playing time is determined, and it really varies from team to team. Some teams, in order to be fair, try and give equal playing time to everyone, regardless of skill level. Others are all about skill level.

As you read the policy, see if the terms of it are being violated in regards to the amount of playing time your child is being given. If they are, you should confront the coach about this issue. In fact, even if they’re not, it’s not a bad idea to have a conversation with the team’s coach.

Talk to the Coach

When you talk to your child’s coach, be respectful and direct. It’s okay to politely ask why your child is getting less playing time than you might like.

As you listen to the coach’s answer, remind yourself to remain fair and diplomatic. This can be hard to do when emotions are running high, so you can always return to the conversation later if needed.

If, after your conversation, you understand the coach’s choices, then you just have to accept it and move on. If you honestly think the coach is still being unfair or unreasonable, you may want to bring the issue to higher-ups or consider joining a different team.

However, remember that your wants and your child’s wants are not the same thing. If your child isn’t upset about his amount of playing time, you probably shouldn’t be either. Keep that in mind before you think about broaching the topic.

How to Keep from Being THAT Sports Parent

I love being a “sports parent.” There is nothing like the rush of pride, of excitement when I see my son step out onto the ice. However, as much as I love seeing my little hockey player having fun out on the ice, I must admit I am far from perfect. I have to constantly keep myself in check, as so many other parents do, to keep myself from becoming THAT parent - the one who screams at her kids or even at the coach when things don’t go their way. And, even though I’m pretty good at keeping that kind of thing in check, I also have to watch my tongue so that, after a game, I don’t let harsh, critical words slip from my mouth to my child’s ears.   

See, as much as I love my children and want them to feel great, competitiveness and perfectionism are in my nature. They are things that were drilled into me as an athlete by my coaches and by my own parents. But I know, we all know now, that times have changed and that we’ve come to realize a softer, kinder, less serious approach to child athleticism is the way to go. I know all of this and yet I have to fight against the way I was taught to do things. I have to fight against the harshness and criticism that, regrettably, are in my nature.

I think what gets me through it, aside from the fear of being that parent- the one who everybody whispers about- is the fact that I want my child to grow up loving his chosen sport. More than that, I want him to equate memories of this beloved sport with memories of laughter, fun, and enjoyable times with his parents cheering on the sidelines. If he, instead, remembers this time as one in which he was yelled at and dreaded having his parents around, well that’s just a tragedy and certainly not the way I want my child to remember me.

So, I bite my tongue, I try to change my attitude when it’s slipping into negativity, and I remind myself that, above all else, I dearly love my child, and that, at the end of the day, is what keeps me from being THAT parent.